Hey. So I completely almost forgot to do a blog post. Hah hah that would've been bad? I mean like the tens of people that read this blog would've been really upset. Or probably never noticed. I could probably just move on to day 5 tomorrow and Kealy would not know what hit her. I mean who counts the twelve days of christmas anyway? No one remembers day 4. Fuck 4 calling birds. No one even cares about it because it comes right after you bring the house down with "FIIIIIIVE GOLDEN RIIIIIIINGS!!!" Well, the only thing that matters now is I remembered (also I hope you know I am not counting down until Christmas. Do not use this blog as any reference to date and time. Use the date and time in the upper right hand corner of your screen to reference date and time. You're welcome) and for your sake and mine I am going to make this short. Also I really had no idea what I was going to write about until like 10 seconds ago so here we go. I decided it would be easiest to write about what I know. And what I know right now is Kim Possible. I am re-watching this beloved Disney Channel show from the early 2000s on Dailymotion (which I found out the hard way is primarily a porn site but apparently has some other "handy" uses too. Haha get it?) What is this you say? You don't know what Kim Possible is? Well, take a seat on my lap here and I will tell you grandma/hippies without cable/10 year olds/cookie bot going through my website to create popups to even more ads to Zulily. Kim Possible was a disney channel show created in 2002 about a teenage girl voiced by Christy Carlson Romano (Even Stevens) who does everything just like a normal teenager. She is cheer captain, she goes to high school, and she saves the fucking world! Anyway, she has a best friend Ron who has a pet Naked Mole Rat named Rufus who basically is her sidekick and she is such a strong female character and it is sick. While going back and watching this show I realized how great it really was. Feminist morals, great female hero and female villains, and A GREAT THEME SONG. Seriously, watch. It is so catchy. But while watching it I also realized a few...holes that I had never noticed before. So here are 16 thoughts I had while re-watching Kim Possible. (If you have never seen Kim Possible this probably means nothing to you. 1. I can't believe she is wearing that belly shirt to school. That is a ton of midriff. High schools now you can't even show your shoulders without getting just destroyed by the administration. By the way she is also showing her shoulders. And look no one is distracted! Cartoon men can keep it in their pants. Actually no. The cartoon administration can keep it in their pants. 2. How is she crime fighting with her hair down? How is that shit not getting stuck in her armpits? I mean seriously! It isn't tucked behind her ear or anything. No bobbypins. No headbands. No problem. 3. You should be dead. Dr. Drakken's henchmen have shot at you like 50,000 times. How are you not dead? Shego has like acid fire things coming out of her hands and for some reason you win every fight, Kim. 4. Okay, so I know your parents know you save the world every day and stuff but like why are they worried at all? Do they know what saving the world entails? There are explosions and helicopter crashes and a conveyor belt you are tied to slowing pushing you to your death. How can they not be calling you every five minutes asking if you are ok? If Kealy Lonning was Kim's mom she would have a tracking device inserted in her head and she would make her wash her hands every time she got home because you don't know what germs were on that doomsday device. 5. There is no way Wade can just sit in his dark room all day. Like I know the animators made him a little over wait but that kid should be MASSIVE. How did he even meet Kim? He should have serious social issues. 6. They make Rufus way cuter than what a Naked Mole Rat should be. Like look at this thing. I would not keep that thing in my pocket. 7. Why does Kim have such a hard time finding a boyfriend? She gets so nervous any episode she has a crush on a guy but why should she be? She is awesome. Not to mention so attractive. Just look at any girl who goes as Kim for Halloween. That costume is a straight winner.
8. To go along with this, how is Kim not popular? Everyone knows she frequently saves the world but I guess like no one cares???? She is extremely kind, loyal, jacked, and funny. I'll be your friend, Kim. Jeez. Who the hell is too good for Kim Possible. 9. Ron has gotta be gay. I'm sorry but there is just no one that kid is straight. That could've been so progressive, Disney! Seriously. Ugh. 10. How is Kim broke? She always talks about not having enough money to buy things for herself and that she needs a job but SHE SAVES THE WORLD. SOMEONE AT LEAST GIVE THE GIRL SOME MONEY TO BUY HERSELF A JACKET FROM CLUB BANANA. 11. Her younger twin brothers are little shits. Your sister is Kim Possible. She could fuck you up. 12. Kim had a smart phone before smart phones were smart phones. She could video chat and go on the internet and use a gps. Oh my god I bet her data is through the roof. How can her parents be so chill when she is killing their family's data plan? 13. So is Shego Drakken's daughter? Is she his lover? Someone should really clear this up because it is starting to get weird. 14. How is Kim always nervous about tests and school. She has almost died like countless times. Chill. 15. Those cargo pants are going to fall off. Scroll up and look at Kim's pants. There is just no way. I know she is skinny and this is a cartoon but that is just screwing with physics, man. 16. What a super weird coincident that Kim's last name is Possible and Ron's is Stoppable. It's like they are cartoon characters or something and I should stop getting bothered by this. Well, I think I have exhausted this topic. Please go and watch Kim Possible and experience this crazy girl power show.
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